I’ll never forget the day I finally understood Facebook. (“Facebook?” – I know, I am aging myself.) A person I loved was ill and asked me to join Facebook so that they could update me online. I thought this was a great idea until I compared the posts I read with the phone calls I had with mutual friends. “It’s a great day!” posts were contradicted by “he’s not doing well today” conversations. That’s when I realized that Facebook, and social media in general, is all about showing the world what you want the world to see.
How many teenagers have struggled with self-esteem as they view their peers through a vanity filter? If only they were allowed to see the unfiltered picture. How many moms and dads have been disappointed with their chaotic lives by viewing the culinary delights their neighbor is posting from a clean kitchen? If only they were able to turn the camera around and see the dishes and cooking detritus hidden from the frame.
Nineteen years of providing financial planning services has convinced me that many Americans view their financial condition in the same way they view social media. They evaluate their financial health by comparing what they “know” of their lives to what they “see” in other’s lives.
“He parked his brand-new Tesla Model 3 next to my 20-year-old Scion; he must be wealthier than me.” “She takes her family to Disney for the week while I take mine to the Dells for the weekend; she must be richer than me.”
Unfortunately, you can’t judge a book by its cover. Do yourself a favor and stop evaluating your financial situation by comparing your toys to their toys. Your real financial situation can be evaluated pretty simply.
Financially – What is your actual wealth? Subtract what you owe from what you own, and you will have a decent measure of your wealth. That means the Tesla he leases is worth less than the beater you own. You can at least sell yours for parts, he can only surrender his.
Relationally – Are your finances placing a strain on your relationship with family and friends? Does making ends meet place a strain on your relationships? Are you working overtime to keep up with the pace? Living within your means may allow you more time to do the things you love with the people you love.
Emotionally – How do you feel about your finances? Are you at peace with the future? Do you worry about how you will handle the emergency that you don’t see coming? Do you have a retirement plan or do you just ignore the future? Driving the car you own outright means you can bank that car payment for future needs.
A wise man once said that a person’s life does not consist of the abundance of their possessions. Are you content with what you have? While you look longingly at his Tesla, they may be looking longingly at someone else’s Cybertruck. It is amazing how capable we are of being dissatisfied when we look at what others have.
It’s time to stop evaluating your financial situation by comparing yourself to what you see in others. If you would like help evaluating your financial situation, or if you need help structuring your finances to allow for peace and contentment, speak with your financial planner.
Did You Know?
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Your financial planner will help you set priorities and achieve your money goals, without judgment or financial jargon. Know that all discussions are kept strictly confidential. This service is offered as an employee benefit with no per-session co-pays, so you can meet with a financial planner as often as you wish. Services are paid by your retirement plan or your employer.
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